What to do when you are in a dilemma

This or that? To be or not to be? That is the question. But what will be your answer? This is my amazing exercise to figure out every dilemma.

A dilemma: flipping a coin

It is almost like you want to flip a coin. Two options, but you can only pick on, so what do you do? It can be as easy (or difficult) as picking an ice cream flavour on a hot summer night or deciding whether you should quit your job or not. From picking a brunch dish as if your whole life depends on it to deciding whether and what you should text that guy.

The popular option

There are a lot of things that you can do to figure out your dilemma. When it comes to food I often know what I don’t like and then I have a few options left. If I then still don’t know, I ask the staff what the most popular dish/flavour is and I’ll try that. I learned that from a travel friend whilst buying gelato in Italy and it’s literally the best thing ever. It is a fresh way of looking at things, you don’t have to pick your own brain about it and you might get surprised by whatever you get.

Pros & cons

Another thing I used to do and still do sometimes is writing my dilemmas on paper and jot down every pro and con, picking the option with the most pros and trust that that decision is good enough.

What do you want?

What I do know and ask my clients as well when they are facing a dilemma is to state the dilemma and state the goal. So for example when the dilemma is whether you should quit your job or not, you want to have more clarity around making that decisiong, leaving or staying. Then you ask the question of your dilemma to your head, heart and gut.

Head vs. Heart

So you ask your head: should I stay or leave my job? And then your head can answer and it will maybe say things like, you need to stay, it will be safe, your colleagues are nice, it is hard to get a new job, this job isn’t as bad, etc. Then you ask you heart the same question: should I stay or leave my job? Your heart says that you will love a new adventure, a job that you will love more and are more passionate about, that you enjoy working at and getting up for in the morning.

Your gut knows

Lastly, you will ask the question of your dilemma to your gut and see what comes up. Usually, funnily enough, the answer will come straight away. With one client the answer no came straight away as if it was flying from her toes out of her mouth, whereas she had to think more about wording her words with her head and heart. It is really important to learn to trust your gut and ask her questions. Every answer that comes out of your gut is true. Interested in having a life coach?

Scared for change

And yes it is scary. It is scary to step out of your comfort zone and change. To say goodbye to your colleagues. To say goodbye to what you are used to. To look for a new job, go through the whole process and hoping that that new job is what you are looking for (another time where you can do this exercise, should I take the new job or not). But you know what. At this point of time this choice is true for you and your best choice. With not making a choice at all, change is never going to happen. So whatever you choose, it is the right choice.

Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better. – Sydney J. Harris

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