Tips to unleash resentment feelings

Having resentment feelings is not a feeling but a story you hold. Of course you are sad or angry that someone has hurt your feelings, but these feelings you can let go and you can move on. Or you can even forgive someone. Still, it is still possible to have a grudge for someone, because you will never forget what someone has done.

Why do you have resentment feelings?

Have resentment towards your mother because you feel that she is pulling your little sister in everything and you have gotten the feeling over the years that she loves you less and you are not good enough. Or resentment because you find out that your group of girlfriends are going to do something together but you haven't asked to go along. Or maybe something smaller like someone who has forgotten your birthday, but you attach a lot of value to that person. Many people experience resentment feelings because they feel that other people have done something wrong and they feel hurt. But why do we often hold them (and so long) when they only hurt us? And not just pain. These negative feelings provide a stress response in our body that puts us in a fight or flight mode. And the longer you hold these feelings, the more health problems you can experience such as higher blood pressure and heart disease. Why do we remain so persistently clinging to resentment rather than letting go of them? And more importantly, how do we let these feelings loose?

Take control

Often, you think the other person should apologize. But perhaps it is true that those other sincerely did not understood that it was your birthday. I have had that too. My girlfriend is two weeks earlier than my birthday and only after she congratulated me on my own birthday did I pass that I had forgotten her completely because I was on holiday. And that's it: you don't know what exactly is going on in someone else's life, so you can't involve every situation on yourself. If you have feelings of resentment, those feelings are yours alone and so you are the only one who can do something about it. So let these feelings loose by taking control themselves. Don't wait until someone else does something, sorry says if it makes good. Do what feels good to let go of the feelings.

View it from a different perspective

As I have just said, there can be just a good reason why someone has hurt you and that is probably not even the intention. Do you walk all the way and eat yourself up for nothing, because there was nothing going on. Think for yourself why someone has responded in this situation or better yet: out of your feelings and ask directly what the reason for the situation was, without any judgement to be adhered to. And should it be that there is no good reason, then that is also OK. The situation has happened so leave it in the past. Focus instead of on the present or perhaps how to get better next time.

Accept your Feelings

How do you really feel now? What exactly happened that you feel so and what emotions belong to it now? Stopping your feelings doesn't help, and most likely your anger will be blown up in situations where you don't expect or want it. Then out of your anger suddenly on someone who doesn't deserve it. So be honest about how you really feel.

Do it not only

If you opkropt your feelings and do not pronounce the situation, then you often make the situation bigger in your head than he is. If you don't like to talk to that person directly, ask a friend to help you. This is such a recognizable situation, everyone has had to deal with it. Plus, by speaking out loud, you often get a clearer picture of the situation, you can think more clearly and come up with good solutions. Or your girlfriend gives you of course good tips.


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