How many times did you want to give up? Threw the towel in the ring because you said to yourself: “this isn’t going to work”. Every time that you have a setback, do you think that you want to quit and beat yourself up or do you choose to learn and keep on going? Today I will teach you to do the latter and stay consistent so that you are able to actually reach your goals!
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1. Don’t beat yourself up
It’s really important that if you have been taking a side path, that you don’t beat yourself up for it. You don’t find yourself wanting to change and have fun with it if you punish yourself or hate what you have done. Instead:
- Become aware that this has happened and give yourself some grace and love
- Figure out what really has been going on
- Create some new steps that you can consistently can do to keep you moving again towards your goal
2. Make a plan to build your consistency muscle
- Know and be certain what your desired outcome is. E.g. I want to be healthy and fit, I want to be the most energetic person I can be.
- Ask yourself why you want to achieve this.
- Set small goals that will get you to the big, desired goal so that is seems less daunting. Like find to recipes to try, increase your sleep, do stress relieving exercises etc.
- Have processes, plans and steps in place that will help you to get there. Like plan your things in your calendar, have a morning routine.
- Maximise your achievement. Have you done everything in your power to take everything out of what you can do? I have found this course by Brian Tracy extremely helpful for that!
3. Focus on the present
If you are focused on the outcome, you are focused on the future. With that, you are more likely to worry about if you are going to achieve the goal, whether you are doing the right thing and if you shouldn’t be doing more or less. Also typical are the what if questions. What if no one loves me. What if I do this and I see no results. Future thinking increases your worrying and anxiety. This then leads to less focus on your actual goal. If you focus on the present, you have more control of what is and what you can do right now.
4. Overcome your plateau & I want to quit mindset
It is like being married. You just get married, and you are over the moon and in your honeymoon phase. Then, when things are normal, your mindset changes. This happens with achieving goals as well. In the beginning it is motivating and exciting and you go purely based on that. Then you feel like: “oh this isn’t working, I see no results, I better quit.” So before you do, you can overcome your setback by asking: WHY! Why did you want to achieve this goal in the first place? And if that doesn’t get you moving, ask why again. This will help us fuel our desire again, even when we hit a plateau.
3. Do it anyways
Things aren’t going to change by itself. You can’t make a decision of hey, I’m gonna be healthy now and have the body of my dreams and then expecting that you magically will get that body by just looking at your vision board. It doesn’t work that way. Yes, having a clear intention and manifestion will do wonders, but you have to take the action. Stay committed and consistent when you are tired. When you don’t feel like it. When it isn’t working. When you’re angry. When you are stressed and have a bad day. Show up for yourself and do it anyways. Change is just one step away. What you will do today can have a huge effect tomorrow, next week, next month and all the years to come. You might not see it now, but you will thank yourself later.
4. Plan in for yourself
If you don’t plan it, it is not going to happen. So once you figure out what to do, make sure that you write those steps into your diary. And to help with habit building, make sure that you do it at the same time each day or week so that you prime your mind for what’s to come. A really good one is to create a morning routine that works for you. This will set you up for a positive and happy day without that 4 o’clock dip and wanting to look for comfort in food. Think about what it is going to look like and do an plan exactly that.
Find an accountability partner
Find someone outside yourself that is a friend, partner, mentor, coach that will help you to do the things that you want to do and making sure that you are actually doing them. Who will be there for you when you need a kick in the bum and when it is not going to great AND when you have lots to celebrate and cheering you on. Having an accountability partner also helps you to see things from another perspective, especially when you feel stuck. It helps you to grow and do things in a different way so that it takes less time and effort than you thought. Also it is so great because you don’t have to do it all alone.
Make the process fun
If you think reaching your goal is hard and you think that you can’t do this, it is not going to make it easier and fun. If you think this, you definitely have some mindset work to do on this. Because if you think it is going to be hard, it is going to be hard. And yes you have to do the work and effort, but it doesn’t have to be restrictive or hard to get where we want to be. If you are doing something that you reject or makes you feel like you don’t want to do it, it is going to get harder and harder to stick to it. Instead, find a way how you can get from A (where you are now) to B (where you want to be) in such small steps that relate to your current life, that you are willing to do and that you can easily do until you’ve reached that goal. In that way, it is way more fun to stay consistent and make it a new habit. Once you’ve conquered that step, you can create a new, maybe more difficult step. By doing that over and over again, you’ll get closer to your goal in such a way that these new habits will stick and you don’t feel like you want to quit.
Be compassionate with yourself
When you work towards a goal, there are going to be setbacks most likely. And you have a choice how you will respond. Are you going to respond to yourself and say that you’re a failure and beat yourself up for your “mistake”? Or are you going to be compassionate with yourself. Saying that this is part of the process and that you can learn from this and do better. Just because you had a setback, doesn’t mean that you have to start all over again. You can just pause and then move on. You can choose to still go to the gym when you planned it but haven’t gone. You can still choose to now eat a healthy meal when you’ve chosen to eat chocolate out of the pantry before. It is unrealistic to expect from yourself that once you made a decision that you will always do the new thing perfectly. That’s just not how we humans work. That is not how our brains work. So the sooner you make peace with it, the better it will be for your overall happiness and health.
Once you accepted the situation, forgive yourself. If we learn to forgive, we can raise our vibration with energy, motivation and joy for your goals. That, no matter what happened, you can always move forward. Being able to fully forgive yourself (or basically anyone), will get you quickly out of that negative, fixed mindset and into a growth mindset. It is such a courageous feeling to be able to grow and learn from a situation. And I personally feel that you will manifest your goal even quicker once you are able to do this from the bottom of your heart.