Who you surround yourself with, you become. Who is the person you would like to become and do the people around you resemble that person? If not, this is how you can choose the right people who you want to surround yourself with.
Who do you spend time with?
You must have heard it before that you are exactly like the 5 closest people around you. Think about the 5 people who are closest to you at the moment, who you spend most time with, who you have the greatest connection to. What are these people like and do you recognize yourself in them?
I do though. I remember that I had a friend who tends to be very negative and not always speak kindly of other people. In a matter of time I found that I did the same thing and this was far from what I wanted to be like. So I decided to hang out with my friend who sees everything in a positive way. And guess what happened? 🙂
Letting people go
Okay, so you are aware that not every friend has a good influence on you and can even be toxic for you. How do you know for sure that this is a true friend for you? Well think about how you feel after you have spend time with them. Do you feel good about yourself, vibrant and ready to take some steps? Or do you feel tired, drained, unsure and feel like you’re not in control of your emotions? Do you feel like relationships are one sided? Then it is time to let this friendship go, how hard it might feel like. A friend of mine once said that some people are just in your life for a season, for a few years. And some people are there for a lifetime.
What do you want?
Letting people go and also finding new people is scary. Do you let fear ruin your life though? Do you want to grow and create the life that you want and deserve or do you want to stay where you are and feel miserable? Glad we are on the same page! The first step is to find out what you want. Do you want to start your own business? Do you want to become a mum? A remote worker? Be more positive? Be a hero in the gym? Be able to make healthy dinners? Whatever you want and want to be like, you want to actively choose the people who share these ambitions and values. This will be your standard of what YOU want in life.
I struggle with being assertive. I do have my opinions, but I find it hard to speak my mind. Afraid of being let down, betrayed, people not agreeing with me or commenting in a mean way. This was my past but I choose to work on this. Now I have a wonderful friend who is never afraid to speak her mind and is very direct, but in a kind, loving and funny way. I adore this about her and with her positive support I find that I am slowly becoming more assertive too.
Find someone who already has the results that you want
As you could see in the example above, finding people who already have what you want, is essential. You want to start a succesful business? Find somebody who already has accomplished that in the area that you want and ask who they did it and what it takes. Do you want to handle conflicts better? Talk to someone who is a pro in this? Do you want to live more in the moment and worry less about the past and the future? Become friends with someone who owns that.
Where do you find the right people?
Spend more time with the friends who bring the best out in you, who support you and bring you positivity and energy. If you are on the verge of meeting new people, think about where the person you want to become would go. Go there and connect with new people. People love to talk about themselves, so if you ask them questions and show you’re really interested, a connection is made fast. Other options are joining groups on a app like MeetUp or ask your supportive friends if they know anybody who has the skills you are looking to develop.
Develop relationships with the right people
Finding people who are right for you, can be tough and tricky. I am not gonna lie and say that it is easy. Keep in mind that you are doing this to become better and make your life more enjoyable. If this is hard for you to achieve, get and you think you need to have some extra help for support and to achieve your goals faster, then a life coach is an option for you. It will help you to become more clear on what you should do to end up with the right people. If you want more information about having your own life coach, let me know, I’d love to help you!
“Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher” – Oprah Winfrey